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Who else wants to learn 8 simple things you can do to lose subscribers today?

Rule #1 in email or article marketing is to have a catchy title. While some of the email headlines on this list are pretty catchy, they are also the reason I unsubscribed to several lists this morning. So, if you want to trim down your subscriber list, simply add these techniques to your marketing toolbox.

1. I’m shocked/disappointed/confused by you


Huh?

What did I do?

I better open this email and see what I did to this person.

Oh my…

I’ve shocked/confused/disappointed this person because I haven’t clicked the link they sent me yesterday. Well, this is an easy fix. I’ll click that link.

Gosh, I feel so stupid for not having done that sooner. All they were trying to do is share some valuable information with me…

Unsubscribe.

2. I foundĀ  you on Facebook/Twitter/LinkedIn

Really?

You found me while browsing Facebook/Twitter/LinkedIn?

That’s pretty remarkable. From what I understand, you have a subscriber base of around 10,000 – 1,000,000 people (according to your last email about building a list).

I have to say, I’m impressed that you actually recognized my name as being on your list of 10,000 – 1,000,000 subscribers. That is some serious dedication to your subscribers.

Oddly though, you never reached out to me on that site using that site’s built in functionality. Instead, you decided to open up an email client and email it to me personally. You did send it to me personally right?

Yeah…unsubscribe.

(This technique came to me from 2 pretty well known marketers who don’t usually use these kinds of tactics.)

3. Your download is ready

My download is ready?!

I always get excited when I see that my downloads are ready.

I accidentally double click the subject line because I can’t wait to get to my download. It’s going to be great. I remember that I requested to download….wait, what is this?

That’s weird, I never requested this download. Maybe it’s a mistake that worked out in my favor. When I click the link that points to an autoresponder account, surely I’m going to be taken to an excellent resource.

Sadly though, 99% of the time these links go to a landing page that requires me to join another list. Thus, my hopes are dashed. Through the haze of confusion and disappointment, I manage to find the link to unsubscribe.

4. Payment complete

Oh boy, I love seeing the subject line telling me that a Payment is complete. My merchant account makes it so simple. No need to tell me anything more when I’ve made a sale than the PAYMENT IS COMPLETE. I can’t click fast enough to see who has bought my latest product.

What is this?

Wait! This kind marketer has gone ahead and paid for the hottest new product for me! It’s verified. They even included the name of the product, the retail price and the price I have to pay – $0! All I have to do is click this link.

Wait a minute. The link took me to a squeeze page for another product again.

Hopes…dashed…again. Unsubscribe.

5. Clickbank Receipt #XXXXX

Huh?

I didn’t order anything from Clickbank. Hmmmm, I better get this straightened out. I don’t want Clickbank to lose money by accidentally sending me somebody else’s order. Let’s put the reading glasses on and take a look at what happened here.

Wha?!

Wait!

This kind marketer has gone ahead and paid for the hottest new product for me! It’s verified. They even included the name of the product, the retail price and the price I have to pay – $0! All I have to do is click this link.

Deja vu…

Again, hopes have been dashed. Unsubscribe.

6. Your Purchase/Payment

You get what’s going to happen here right? Unsubscribe.

7. You’ve been selected…

I bet you say that all of your subscribers. No? Really?

Me?

What did I do to be hand selected to view your private link/product/whatever else you’re pushing on me. Out of your list of 1,000 people (if you’re mildly active in email marketing) you’ve hand selected me?

Unsubscribe.

8. Support

Stomach drops.

An email from Support is never good.

Which support is it? Let’s see, GoDaddy usually sends me emails from Support. GraphicRiver sends me emails from Support. Lot’s of big companies that I use send me emails from Support. My head is spinning…

What did I do wrong to get an email from support?

Sweat breaks out on my upper lip, hands trembling, I click to open the email. I peek with one eye to see how I’ve ruined my career by pissing off Support…

What’s this?! Another kind marketer has paid for/is giving a hot new product to me and all I have to do is click this link which points to an autoresponder and clicks through to a squeeze page for something else….

Seriously, why is this such a big trend in email marketing?

Unsubscribe.

Also, don’t use “Support”. If you do, add the name of your company or your own name. I know I clicked through. You got me. You also lost me on the click through, so who really won?

Bonus: Hello [firstname]/[friend]

I don’t mind this one when it works. I mind it when the token “firstname”/”friend” isn’t replaced. That’s not always the marketer’s fault. It tends to be the email marketing service he/she is using. However, it really helps to send that test email.

So, in essence, be transparent. You might not get as many click throughs but you’ll probably get more loyal and active subscribers. I’d rather have a list of 100 customers than 10,000 clickers.

If you have any other email marketing techniques that annoy you, leave a comment and let’s hear it.

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